The method I created can be considered a language seed- Its used to establish contact and is the core from which each mother and fetus’s language grows. Its a known fact that all communication started out and touch and vocalization- and as the cognitive mind grows- the vocalizations becomes talking. Many people talk to their unborn babies- but it has little or no reliable response.
So why does this method work? It worked because it was ultra simple.Let me explain –
Mothers talk all the time- to everyone.The fetus hears all of it- and after a while- tunes it out. When the mom tries to talk to her fetus- it sounds the same to the fetus. What worked is making a sound that was completely different than the fetus heard all the time. Something they would know was meant for them. The very first time I used it was after a woman in the building I worked in had her fetus die within her- after noticing he has stopped moving- made me get afraid every time my son didn’t move for a long span of time. On this particular day- he was particularly still- I started to panic and started trying to get a response out of him.
For no reason I know of- I made a two tone humming sound- like a door bell (high low- ding dong) Nothing- I made the sound again and nothing, I made it with urgency in my voice and giggled my belly with my hands right after- he responded with a little kick- not satisfied- I made the sound again calmly followed by to strong taps with my finger tips on the underside of my belly knowing the sound and vibration would be felt by him- a waited- then did it again- he responded with a flurry of kicks. I burst out laughing- then stood totally still and made the sound and taptap- his whole body exploded in motion.Again I laughed- I went still again- preparing to do it again- but he beat me to it- I suddenly felt a very distinct flury of little kicks followed by him holding still- I was surprised an just held still- a moment later I was subjected to another flurry of kicks- much more intense – to which I quickly responded with the two tone sound and tap tap- his body exploded into motion then stopped instantly and after a short pause- a little flurry of kicks- I responded- he rewarded me with a big flurry of kicks. And thus it began. From that moment on- my two tone sound would be how I greeted him- how I got his attention when every I wanted. He used a flurry of kicks to get my attention-
How can something so simple develop into a diverse language? Easy- Just like the word “there, their, they’re” sound the same but has different meanings- so can a two tone hum sound and a flurry of kicks. Some examples:
He gets the hick ups- after a couple- I make the sound following each hick up- he bursts into a flurry of kicks. The next hick up I only thump my belly twice. He catches on and after the next two hick ups- he does a flurry of kicks- after that we have a new game. He would start it after the very first hick up he’d get. He was extra excited to play the game when I once got the hick ups- even getting frustrated when they stopped after only 4 of them- kicking harder and harder trying to make me have another one.
The door slammed shut and he totally jumped and was moving all around.- I made the sound and rubbed his back- made the sound over about 3 times- followed by tap tap- until he responded with his flurry of kicks- He then pushed his back out to be rubbed more- leading to the back rub requests
When he wanted to be soothed he would get my attention with a flurry of kicks followed by pushing his back against inside of my belly. At one point his back faced towards my back- and him trying to push his back out for rubbing exposed his little foot he was using to push with- It was so easy to see sticking out that I playfully grabbed it gently -and held on for a second when he tried to pull it back- which led to the tug-o-foot game.
This became his favorite game. He would get my attention with his flurry of kicks the push his foot way out and slide it slowly across my belly- wanting me to grab it. If I didn’t- he’d flurry kick and try again. I’d make the sound and grasp his foot- he’d pull against my grip and I’d let go. If I let go too fast I’d get a sharp kick to my stomach! He wanted to get to tug hard. The down side of this game is he wanted to do it like 50 times in a row. He would want to play at 3am!
at times I would feel him being irritated- uncomfortable. His body movement showed frustration- after a while I’d.sound to him and start swinging my belly side to side (with me standing) I’d stop after a few timed and wait- a flurry of kicks meant yes- more- its helping- and I’d continue till he fell asleep. (stopped moving)
Chill out mom!
There were times when I would start laughing too loud at something people were saying and he’d let me know it with a quick flurry of kicks- I’d reply with the sound (like saying- Ok -) followed by some belly swinging
More bass music
listening to a song with a thumping bass followed by a calm song would get and objection flurry of kicks. Playing the right type of song after his objection would get a pushed out foot slide.
These are only a few of the many ways we communicated from 7 1/2 months till he was born.
It was very useful when I went into labor- for 48 hours- 3 min apart 9opened only 1 cm). I used it after each contraction to check in with him- The doctor drugged me for 6 hours to get some sleep- then had me come in for inducing. He continued responding for around 2 of the next 7 hours. I was on demoral. After pushing like 3 times- He picked up a double heart beat and they said he was in trouble-and i needed to get him out fast. I crossed my arms over the top of my belly and used them for leverage to push his head down and out in 1 push.As soon as she said to go ahead and push with the next contraction- I didn’t wait for it- I used my crossed arms instead to push his body out. She lifted him out and placed him face up sideways across my belly. He wasn’t crying. He was just looking up. I wanted to get his attention so without thinking- I made the 2 tone sound-
He rolled from his back to his stomach and lifted his head up off my belly a good inch staring right at me with this surprised kind of stunned look like “its YOU!!!” It was so crazy- the nurse who freaked at him flipping over scooped him up -thinking he was rolling off of me and filled his eyes with goop. I held him for a few minutes after they cleaned him up then they took him away for observation for the next 3 hours. I kept asking them to bring him but they never showed up- I finally had to walk to the nursery and demand they give me my baby- the finally brought him about 30 min after that. He was totally alert but perfectly still. Just from the way he looked at me- I could tell he didn’t like being wrapped up so tight like they do- I loosened the blanket and lay him on his side about 8″ away from my face. He just lay there holding perfectly still for the next 7 hours strait. I fell asleep a few times- woke up to him still looking at me. I’d make the sound and he’d make this little movement with his head. I was worried that he wasn’t blinking enough. Finally after 7 hours- his eyes drooped and he fell asleep. He didn’t cry even once the following day.
All the nurses kept saying how quiet he was. From the start- he could just look at me a certain way and I’d know he needed something.
FYI- babies never cry because their diaper is wet or soiled- unless they have a rash. Otherwise- they could care less. If a baby cries- its because they are in pain- 99% of the time- hunger pains. 1% gas pain. Hunger pain is 100% avoidable. Its cruel to EVER wait to feed a baby till it starts to cry. Hunger pain sucks as an adult- why make an infant suffer thru it? As soon as they start sucking at the back of their hand- or spit out their pacifier after a few seconds- they need to be fed- now.
Fact- A child that never has to cry to get fed- never learns to use crying to get what they want. Crying is a learned behavior parents create. The only time my babies cried is when they were in pain. They never cried them selves to sleep. Never needed to – “cry it out” I always allowed my children to sleep when they became sleepy- never on a schedule. Wouldn’t you know it- they never got fussy- or over tired or cranky. My son did go thru a phase where he woke up at 4 am at about 4 months old. He was awake and ready to play- He spent a few weeks contently swinging away in the dark talking to him self for 2 hours a night!